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Becoming Mindful

My view of the sky post-meditation

Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a practice that all leaders should seriously consider learning.  For readers who haven't been exposed to mindfulness before or don't have a clear understanding of it, mindfulness in its most basic sense is awareness - awareness of your surroundings and awareness of your thoughts and feelings, both emotional and physical.  It's about being conscious; about being switched-on; about not judging yourself and instead seeking to understand.

The practice of mindfulness has its roots in Buddhism, but before you start thinking you're going to have to shave your head and wear a colourful monastic robe to "do this mindful thing" let me assure you that you don't.  Buddhism is a religion, mindfulness is not.  You can be Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu or Atheist and practice mindfulness.  It doesn't care what your beliefs are.  It's also not some pseudo-science or cult.  Its been practiced for centuries and continues to be widely used in the fields of psychology and psychiatry today.  

How can mindfulness help me be a better leader?
As a leader you want to always be on top of your game, right? You want to be in-tune with yourself, right?  You want to be an open person that's also a good listener?  You want to have poise and calmness in tough situations?  You want to have energy and  longevity?  You want to be able to analyse and interpret information quickly and accurately?  Mindfulness can help you achieve all this and much more.  Remember, mindfulness is all about awareness and awareness can lead you down so many positive pathways to developing as a leader.

I've personally found that mindfulness has not only made me a better leader, but it has also made me a better person.  Those who know me, know that I have plenty of good qualities, but historically patience hasn't been one of them - call it collateral damage from a career in marketing communications.  That changed when I started practicing yoga and mindful meditation.  Now I can wait in supermarket lines without thinking to myself "C'mon! c'mon! what's the hold up!" and I'm able to take my mind to more interesting, more meaningful, places when I'm stuck in a traffic jam.  Now I use time, I don't let it use me.  In a work environment I'm also much more able to focus on the macro issues rather than the micro ones and I get over hurdles far better than I did early in my career.  I'm a better listener, a better speaker and a better leader.       

Above all else, what I've learned from mindfulness is to be non-judgmental.  What the practice teaches you is that although you may enhance self-awareness (and in turn this may lead to self-improvement), you do not need to judge your emotions and actions.  The goal is simply to observe.  It's a beautiful thing to learn to accept who you are . . . warts and all.  And it's incredible how this acceptance can make you a better you.

What can I do to become mindful?
The good news is there's lots you can do become a mindful person and there's plenty of literature around to help.

For those who think they might like a bit more physical activity in their quest for mindfulness, yoga is a great start.  I practice Ashtanga Yoga which is my way of combining fitness with mind/body awareness, but any form of yoga will do the trick.

As far as reading material is concerned I can highly recommend the author Jon Kabat-Zinn who is one of the modern day gurus of mindfulness and established the Stress Reduction Clinic (now the Centre for Mindfulness in Medicine) at UMASS Medical School.  He's got a great down-to-earth style that isn't ever highbrow or finger-in-mouth new age.  He just tells it like it is.  If you can track down his audio book Mindfulness for Beginners you'll be in good hands.  But the hard work will have only just begun.  You didn't think this would be easy did you?

Mindfulness is a lifelong practice that requires action.  It's something you need to do, not just read about.  It's something you need to make time for if you want to be a better leader and a better person.  So do the reading, then do the doing and do it often. 

What is Leadership?

Firstly, thanks to @Tea Man (I've added the @ symbol because all the kids on Twitter are doing it these days) for posting the very first comments on my blog and for choosing to follow me.  For those who haven't read his comments (under 'Born Leaders'), it's worth it.  Please keep them coming.  If there's anyone else reading my blog then I'd love to hear your thoughts too - it helps take me to undiscovered, unconsidered, places.

@Tea Man raised some important questions that warrant further exploration - one sentence in particular got me pondering.  Here's what @Tea Man said "I think many struggle as leaders, or never step into leadership, not because they're not 'born leaders' but because the very definition of leadership is confusing at times.".  What struck me here is that both @Tea Man and I (and a few million others presumably) have grown up thinking about leaders and leadership as if we are looking through a dense fog at something we think we're familiar with but can't quite make out.  We've probably seen good and bad examples of leadership and have a kinda sorta idea of what it means in our heads, but not many of us have ever been presented with a clear definition.  Herein lies the problem: if we don't really know what a leader is or does, then how do we become one?  So let's try to define it.

Here's what the Oxford Dictionary says:

"A person or thing that leads."

Wow.  Wow.  Detective Holmes, pack up your crack pipe and deerstalker hat because this case is closed BABY!  Alright, so the Oxforddictionarymachine didn't spit out a very comprehensive definition, so let's look at some others:

"The only definition of leadership is someone who has followers" - Peter Drucker

"Leadership is the wise use of power. Power is the capacity to translate intention into reality and sustain it." – Warren Bennis

"Leadership is influence - nothing more, nothing less." - John C. Maxwell

Now I'm not so naive or egotistical to even pretend I'm in the same league as these guys.  Not even in the same universe.  But I do see something missing in their definitions.  And that's "heart".  These definitions are based on well researched theory, but all of them lack heart.  They've missed the real power of leadership and that's the emotional level it works on.  So with that in mind I'd like to propose the following definition:

A leader is someone who consciously applies an ability to bring out the best in themselves and others around them.

It's a draft, but there are some key elements at work here.  To steal shamelessly from the greatest recording artist of our time - MC Hammer - let's "break it down":

• The idea of "consciously applies" is important because it indicates that a person must have the will to use their skills.  That rhymes by the way.  I don't think a person can accidentally be a leader, they have to be active about it - they have to be conscious.
• "ability" is important because leadership is, after all, a skill or set of skills.  You need to possess these to be a leader.
• Here's where I think the good stuff is: "the best in themselves and others around them".  This is the emotion - the heart - that I feel is missing from some of the other definitions.  Furthermore it addresses the requirement to be a leader of yourself as well as others.  I like the language "the best" because I believe a good leader can help make themselves and others better people, achieve great heights and do things they never thought possible.  I'm not talking about following someone to those heights, I'm talking about someone that helps you get to those heights on your own two feet.

So there you have it.  That's my darnedest at defining what a leader is and does.  If you like it or hate it, I want to hear from you.  But you better bring your solutions with any criticism, because if you can't offer a solution then you're just adding to the problem . . . . and other cliches.

King of the World

Here's a really interesting article from the Harvard Business Review on how James Cameron takes on the mammoth task of leading his crew on films like Avatar:  http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2010/03/how_james_cameron_leads.html

It's not my style, but there's some great insights into someone who's obviously a master at his craft.  Being a huge film buff I also get a little overly excited about "behind the scenes" stories, so it was a good read for me.

Remember to be human

You've worked hard, you've proven yourself, you've made some astute decisions and you've had a little luck.  Finally you've been given the corner office.  Maybe even the corner office with an inspiring view of another corner office.  All of a sudden you're a big shot leader of men, women and kitchen mice.  So why the hell - when you moved into that corner office - did you take everything that makes you human and stick it in the cross cut paper shredder that's sitting beside your mahogany desk?  Regardless of the reason, it was a monumental mistake.  Now that you're in a position of leadership you need your humanity more than ever.

I've watched more than one person step into a senior role that gives them command over a number of people and its changed them for the worse.  When they were promoted it's like they thought "Lord knows how I made it here.  I can't let on that I'm scared.  I need to distance myself from the others.  I'm a Senior Senior Vice to the Vice Director Chairman now and I don't want to lose my position.  I have to be tough.  I have to make tough decisions.  I shouldn't show emotion anymore.  I can't get too close to the staff (notice how she's calling them 'staff' already) so no more "how was your weekend?" or "has your brother recovered from that spelunking accident yet?".

I'd like to put it out there that I believe that when you're in a leadership position it's ok to show emotion and it's crucial to stay connected with your staff.  I've read articles by management consultants saying that you need to end friendships if you're in a position that involves you managing them, but I don't believe in it.  You have to set boundaries and expectations, yes, but you don't have to put your friendship in your all too often used paper shredder.  I'd argue that it'll cause you more problems if you do.  Ever heard of the word "resentment"?  It's more powerful than Yoda's version of The Force.

When you've made it, you deserve it, but you got there being human (at least I hope you did).  So keep being human.  It's what will make you a great leader, not just a robot with a title.  Care about "your staff", keep knowing them, keep showing them who you are - your position won't be any more vulnerable.  People will respect that you haven't changed (that's assuming you weren't an asshole to begin with, in which case this entire post doesn't apply).  They'll want to work hard for you.  They'll be there when you need them. And you'll enjoy it a lot more.

So maybe give your paper shredder to someone you don't like and watch them mince their career instead of you mincing yours.  And even if you really have no idea what "spelunking" is, take the time to ask Jane how her brother is doing anyway.  She'll thank you for it.

Born Leaders

Being a freshly minted Dad gets you thinking about a lot of things, namely "why didn't I do this sooner?" or "will I ever get to sleep again?", but it also got me thinking about the statement "He's a born leader".  Are some people actually born with leadership skills and others not?  What happens if I wasn't?  Can I still learn to become one?  Will my children be leaders?  And the questions go on.

I can't answer them all (yet) but I do have some thoughts on the born leader idea.  It's pretty simple really:  you ain't born with leadership, your learn it and you earn it.  There's no other way.  That means everyone has the chance to be a leader.  Some are in more advantageous positions than others because of the environment they're brought up in, but when a child takes its first breath of air it starts life in the same place as every other child - a blank canvas.  Yeah, yeah, I hear you saying things like "what about genetics?" or "did the Mum eat the right things when she was pregnant" or "Did the parents play a lot of Vivaldi when the baby was in utero?".  I've no doubt these have an impact (well, maybe not the music) on what kind of child comes out from its 9 month hiding place but what I'm saying is that almost no matter what, ANYONE CAN BE A LEADER.  So I say "Booooooo!" to the term "Born Leader".  We can all be leaders, we just gotta learn it and earn it.